Twas the millennium before christmas

'Twas the millennium before Christmas, and all through the cottage,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a spider moneky.
The hats were hung by the loveseat with care,
In hopes that St. Jeff soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their sofas,
While visions of sugar-pork fried rice danced in their belly buttons.
And enemy in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the chimney to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
shot open the shutters, and touched up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-sunday to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a chubby aardvark, and eight tiny squids.

With a little old driver, so lively and pink,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Jeff.
More rapid than pigs his squids they came,
And he whistled, and sniffled, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! Now, Richard! Now, Deer and Vixen!
On, Codger! On Gerbil! On, Smock and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the orange!
Now bathe away! Bathe away! Bathe away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the loveseat St. Jeff came with a bound.

His eyes -- how they juggled! His dimples, how magic!
His biceps were like potatoes, his pinky like a muffin!

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the hats, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his thumb aside of his ring finger,
And giving a nod, up the loveseat he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a splash,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good millennium!"

Easter Song

Twelve Holly Days

On the first day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
a eggnog in a pear tree.

On the second day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the third day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
five funny eggs, four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnogin a pear tree.

On the sixth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairytaxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
seven turtles swimming, six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, threeyellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
eight ostrich slopping, seven turtles swimming, six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
nine shops dancing, eight ostrich slopping, seven turtles swimming, six monstersdancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
ten ducks leaping, nine shops dancing, eight ostrich slopping, seven turtles swimming, six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairytaxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
eleven carrots eating, ten ducks leaping, nine shops dancing, eight ostrich slopping, seven turtles swimming, six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, four fast balloons, threeyellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of easter, Mrs Dougeenie gave to me
twelve boxes falling, eleven carrots eating, ten ducks leaping, nine shops dancing, eightostrich slopping, seven turtles swimming, six monsters dancing, five funny eggs, fourfast balloons, three yellow taxis, two hairy taxis, and a(n) eggnog in a pear tree.